Welcome to Man Monday friends. Guys. Hear me out on this one. I know that _____ butter doesn’t sound manly. I mean, try it. Put literally anything manly, then follow it with butter, and it detestosteronifies said manly thing. For example, Steak Butter… meh. Muscle Butter… definitely not manly. 12-Guage Butter… sounds like you just ruined your 12-guage. Camping Butter… I don’t even want to know what that is… You catching my drift?
Let’s be honest, Pumpkin Butter sounds like something my sister puts on her face before going to sleep every night to *turns down wrist and says,* “eliminate dark shadows under the eyes and limit pimples” (no offense Arika). Behold the Underlying Truth (but!), I’m telling you folks, if you want to add “Fall” to literally any dish, here is your solution! And why can’t it be manly, huh? I mean, what’s not manly about Fall? Tis the season that you break out your flannel shirt, find a hatchet, and chop a bunch of wood in the backyard until sweat drips off of your nose. Tis the season for playing ridiculously scary music out of your window during Halloween so as to scare all the candy-grabbers away from your house. *Mwahaha, all the candy is mine!*
I’m telling you guys. This Pumpkin Butter is fantastic and I’ll tell you a secret. *Whispers behind hand:* There’s no actual butter in it! It really could be called Fall Spread… but let’s be honest… that doesn’t sound as delicious.
- 1 (29 oz.) can pumpkin puree
- ¾ cup apple juice (Simply Apple worked for us)
- 1 cup white sugar
- 2 tsp. ground ginger
- ½ tsp. ground cloves
- 2 tsp. ground cinnamon
- 1 tsp. ground nutmeg
- Place all ingredients in a large saucepan and stir well.
- Bring the mixture to a boil and then reduce the heat to medium low. Let simmer for 30 minutes, stirring frequently, until thickened.
- Store in an airtight container for up to 4 weeks.
Just two days ago I put about a tablespoon of this stuff in my oatmeal. You know, that grainy stuff that gets all mushy and gross, but your doctor says is good for you or something? Well, put some of this pumpkin butter in it. Change your life. Easy. You’ll have oatmeal every single day all Fall long, and you’ll like it. Guaranteed. So, man up, get rid of that nasty Camping Butter and make some of this stuff.